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Showing posts with label writing family stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing family stories. Show all posts

Thursday, 2 November 2023

Family Stories Month - The Accident

Most of us, as family historians, will have uncovered stories that, had they turned out differently, would have meant we wouldn’t exist. A near miss with death. These always humble us. And yet few of us think about our own “close calls”. 

Also, as family historians, we need to recognize that we, too, will one day become an ancestor. It is important that we document our own story so that others may know us and so that we won’t be forgotten to the mists of time. 

When I teach my course on writing “The Story of You”, one of the prompts I offer for people to think about is “accidents/illness/injury” The depth of this is, of course, up to the individual writer. It can be minor accidents, sports injuries or life threatening illnesses. Here’s my story… 

When I was young, my mother, a nurse, worked in a busy city hospital. She worked shifts. My dad, a machinist, worked in a factory.  He worked steady days. When mum was afternoons or nights, it was just dad and I. 

One January, two months before I turned 6, my mum was working afternoons. She called my dad on her break. He said he and I were off to Guelph to visit close friends of the family for the evening. I can’t recall whether we made it to our friends’ house or whether the accident happened on our way home. I just remember that it was dark. 

I heard my dad yell. I heard a crunch. Then I remember the passenger door opening and dad saying we need to get out. He carried me out. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but blood was pouring from his head. Suddenly there were other people around. “We need to move in case that explodes” We moved, blankets and all. The next thing I remember was being in a room with very bright lights and a man telling me it was “ok, just pretend it (was) lemonade.” They were trying to give me “gas”. But I couldn’t be fooled. My dentist used gas and I hated it. I held my breath. There was some chatter about stubbornness and “Let’s try…” I don’t remember anything after that. 

My next memory was in a darker room. And a man was there. Talking softly. I later learned that this was the surgeon who had stayed by my bedside until I was out of danger.  

The details of the story came to me much later. Dad and I were in a head on collision. Hit by a drunk driver. This was in the days before seatbelts. And child safety seats. Dad hit the steering wheel, breaking several ribs. His head not only hit the windshield but went through it. His scalp had nearly been ripped off. Fortunately, a plastic surgeon had been on call. 92 stitches later, his scalp was back in place, the scars mingling with the natural lines of his forehead. His forehead was numb after that. The nerves had all been damaged. I was in the front seat and on impact, was thrown onto the floor and below the dash. Right where the impact was. My right leg was broken. And I was not doing well. 

In the hospital, the doctors suspected I was bleeding internally. This was in the days before CT scans, so the only option was “exploratory” surgery. Opening up my abdomen and looking to see where the bleeding was coming from. Thus, the need for the anesthetic. It turns out my liver had been lacerated. Two thirds of it were removed. I also had a pulmonary embolism. And a fractured femur. 

For the fracture, I was placed in a Thomas Splint. This splint was first invented by a Welsh physician, Dr. Hugh Owen Thomas. The idea behind the splint was rest and immobilization. The injured leg is pulled into alignment (and yes, I remember the pain of that vividly) then immobilized by the splint. For weeks or even months. The Thomas Splint was widely used in both world wars on wounded servicemen.


I remained in the hospital, immobilized by the splint, for about eight weeks. Then I was placed in a cast that wrapped around my waist and covered my entire right leg for another eight weeks or so.
 

While we were both in the hospital, my dad would come to the pediatric ward every day to visit. Sometimes two or three times a day. He was discharged long before me. I remember him telling me he wouldn’t be visiting as often. But I still believed he was in the hospital, so when he arrived, he would don a bathrobe and slippers and come into my room for a visit. 

Prior to the accident, I had been invited to be a flower girl in the wedding of a family friend. But, now, in order to do so, I had to relearn how to walk. The bride's dad, who I referred to as Uncle Jack, was a big part of encouraging me and giving me the confidence to be able to walk again. We would visit at his house, and we would practice and practice until I was finally confident enough to walk on my own.

 


I often think about my poor mum. Being at work. Getting the phone call and not knowing whether her husband and child would be alive when she made it to the hospital an hour away. Being a nurse, she would know all too well what the odds were. That must have felt like one of the longest rides of her life.

The scorch marks created by the burning cars could be seen on the roadway for years to come.

Friday, 28 October 2016

Family History Month - Evoking Memories

There is a Chinese proverb that states, "A family with an old person in it has a nugget of gold". That is especially true for anyone researching their family history. As any beginning genealogist knows, our older relatives have a wealth of family history to share. It is vital to tap into this resource and knowing how to get the information is the key to unlocking this treasure trove of your family's history.



One of the best ways to evoke a memory is through photographs. The visual sparks a recollection of the event, the people, the joy, the laughter, the surrounding details. If you can spend time with an older relative going through old photographs you will unleash a torrent of memories. The opportunity will allow you to identify those in the photo, the reason the photo was taken and sometimes tidbits of information about some of the characters in the photo. One of the lovely things about the elderly is that their filters relax as they age. Things that were once taboo to speak of with others may now get shared quite freely ("she was always such a tart, you know")


As you are spending time with family over the holidays, at reunions, family celebrations, take advantage of the opportunity to sit and speak with the elderly relatives. If photographs aren't available ask questions that will evoke memories for them. If you are at a wedding or christening, ask about weddings or christenings of long ago. 

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Family History Month - Telling the Stories

Having just come back from the Great Canadian Genealogy Summit, I was once again reminded of how important it is to tell the stories of our ancestors. Jennifer DeBruin gave a moving and inspirational opening plenary where she shared the stories she has written about her ancestors and how she has become more intimately connected to them and their plight as a result. Then, Lynn Palermo gave us the "how-to" of putting the stories together. 

Both ladies were clear that we need to choose one ancestor and start with their story. It becomes too easy to become overwhelmed and the best way to start is to narrow yourself down to one person. One who has really spoken to you. No doubt you know their story inside and out and would be only too happy to share it at any genealogy or family gathering. 

Don't fret over writing. This story is a personal journey and one that you are likely only to be sharing with family and other descendants of the person you are writing about. If you can come into a genealogy meeting and tell me the story, you can write it! It's that simple. Take pen to paper and write as if you were telling me the story. 

Saturday, 7 July 2012

How Strongly Do You Feel the Affiliation?

Genealogy is about connecting. I personally have a pretty low need to affiliate. Don't quite understand the tears and hugs after a week long event (training, conference, mission trip, vacation). But genealogy is my passion (some say obsession). And it's all about connecting. A bit of a dichotomy.

I was once speaking with a second cousin. Suddenly a lightbulb went on when she said, "I've been feeling very Fowler this week." Fowler is the line we connect through. I totally understood what she meant. I was a Carrick that week, having done a great deal of research on my Carrick line and was overwhelmed reading about the death of William and his only son, Andrew (18), in a mine as the shaft they were riding on at the end of their shift broke it's cable causing them to plummet 184 feet to their doom.

When I was in Scotland, I spent several days immersed in the Haddow line - my paternal grandmother's family. So much so, that I definitely felt the affinity. I have been researching the Haddows for years. I have connected with several distant cousins who all connect to a single line but then branch off from a different offspring. I became known as the "go to" person for anyone setting out on or who was "stuck" in their Haddow research.

But when I was in Scotland recently, my focus was on a more recent generation. My grandmother and her siblings. I was able to access information that was far more recent than what is available online. I now know their stories, their successes, their challenges, their tragedies. I was able to drive out to the small little village where they lived. I managed to get photos of their headstones. When I returned home, I sat and wrote out the story of the Haddows, at least of this particular generation of Haddows, to share with my cousins. It was such a labour of love being able to share what I had learned. Our granny died when we were all quite young. Three of us then emigrated to different countries, so lost the connection to the story after Granny passed away. Our fathers weren't much for sharing family stories about their parents or grandparents, so we were all in a bit of a vaccum. Now, however, we are all feeling a lot more Haddow.

How strongly do YOU feel the affiliation when you research? Do you feel particularly connected to one particular branch? Is it fleeting or lasting? How has it impacted your understanding of who you are?

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Creating Photo Book Backgrounds Using Flip Pal Scanner

Now that I am back in Canada, it is time to create a memory book, or a scrapbook. I use both traditional scrapbooking and digital scrapbooking. I find the digital books are so much quicker, easier and less expensive and are great when there are not a lot of photos to scrap.
One of the things I enjoy using my Flip Pal scanner for is creating my own backgrounds. Granted, most photobook programs come with pre-loaded backgrounds, but often then don't work for the themes I want to create in my digital scrapbooks.
Using Flip Pal opens up my options and makes the books far more personal as well. Here's how it's done:




This is a roll of wrapping paper I had purchased while in Scotland

I cut a small swatch to scan (I could have flipped the scanner over and scanned a larger portion, but this was left over from my traditional scrapbooking)


Ready to scan

Scan complete!

 Then once the photos were saved into the computer, it was time to crop them. I use Microsoft Office Picture Manager for ease of use, but there are dozens of photo editing programs. Use the one you are most comfortable with






I also scanned a couple of little gift tags that I had picked up along the way





This is the one I chose for my background

Then, in the photobook program, simply add the photo you have chosen for your background and click. I use PhotoInPress because of my comfort level with it and the quality of the books they produce, but you can use any photo book company that suits you.




To make the pics stand out against the back ground, and look separate from the background, I added a border to the photos. The possibilities of setting backgrounds with your Flip Pal mobile scanner are as endless as your imagination. So, start scanning!!

Enjoy the memories and keepsakes that you make with your Flip Pal. If you don't yet have a Flip Pal (they are a fantastic product - easy to use, incredibly portable, and durable), simply click the icon on the right hand side of this blog - the one that looks like this:


You can order your Flip Pal from that link. And, to make it even sweeter, Flip Pal is having a Summer Solstice Sale (until June 30th). Here are the details:

Summer Solstice Sale
Monday, June 18 – Saturday, June 30
Use Promotion Code: SSFP6A
Save $15 when you purchase a Flip-Pal mobile scanner! (Please place items in your shopping cart first before using the promotion code.)

Suite Summer Solstice Sale
Monday, June 18 – Saturday, June 30
Use Promotion Code: SSS6A
Save $25 when you purchase a Flip-Pal mobile scanner with Creative Suite Craft Edition DVD! (Please place items in your shopping cart first before using the promotion code.)

Monday, 5 September 2011

The Importance of Journaling

Almost simultaneous to beginning my venture into genealogy and family history, I began scrapbooking. I love the idea of preserving memories and for me, the scrapbook has never been so much about how pretty the page looks as it has been about sharing the story, or the journey. I have long been a proponent of the importance of journaling and of preserving stories. Thus the foray into producing family books.
I recently came across this wonderful video from FamilySearch on the importance of keeping a journal.
Enjoy the show!