It's OK Not to Be OK

We are living through a world crisis. We are scared, worried and somedays, paralyzed. What we are experiencing is grief. Grief at the loss of our “normal” We have lost our daily routines that gave order and meaning to our days. We have lost physical contact with our loved ones. The people who can help us feel whole just with a hug or sitting closeby. Some of us are grieving the loss of income. And unfortunately, some might be grieving the loss of a life of someone close to us as they have succumbed to this dreaded disease. It really IS ok not to be ok. 

I recognized earlier this week that my grandparents lived through the Spanish Flu pandemic. They had far less information. They didn’t know about social distancing. They didn’t have the scientific community or the advanced health care that we have now. I’m sure they were terrified and kept praying it would stay away from their loved ones.

In dealing with grief, it really is ok to not feel ok. Yes we have all kinds of free time, but we may lack the motivation to do any of the projects that are on our “when I get time” lists. I remember my grief counsellor telling me that grief is a full time job. If I accomplished just one thing each day, I was doing ok. It didn’t have to be anything big. It could be loading the dishwasher, throwing a load of laundry in or going for a walk. Literally one day at a time.

Self care is crucial during times when we feel out of control. Take just 30 minutes each day to take care of YOU. Go for a walk. Read some fluff. Watch mindless comedy. Plan an vacation you likely won’t take. Just remove yourself from reality and ground yourself in something that feels good. That feels normal.

Call in the troops. Phone a friend. Use Facebook video chat, zoom or whatever other tool you have to connect virtually and socially. A belly laugh with a friend or a good cry with a cousin can go a long way to helping rejuvenate our spirits. Reach OUT. 

Turn off the news. It is a constant bombardment and adds to our stress and our loss of control. It heightens our grief. Step away from social media. Turn off notifications. When you do reach out to connect, spend more time on good news stories than on current news stories. Find pictures of animals enjoying life, of babies laughing or of kids saying the darnedest things. Choose uplifting.

We will come out of this. We will find a new normal. Like any loss, things won’t be what they were before but we will carry on. Please feel free to connect with me.

Stay safe. Stay well. Stay focused on taking care of YOU.